Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Cheap Plastic Spoons

There is a nice Chinese food place within walking distance of where I work, so sometimes on nice days I'll walk there at lunch time (or if I'm lazy, like today, I'll drive) and get myself a pint of soup.  The soup is good, but what is WITH these damn CHEAP plastic utensils??

The first time I bought soup from there, I got wonton.  It was winter time, so I had taken the car.  I drove back to the parking lot and parked, and proceeded to TRY to eat my soup.  I had just a plastic spoon, taken from the tray at the Chinese food place.  I chased a wonton around the container, trying in vain to corner it (difficult in a round container) and then slice it with my spoon.  I captured it and tried cut it but my spoon bent in half repeatedly, it's already wimpy status made wimpier by the heat of the liquid.  Finally, desperate and hungry (and unwilling to spoil the solace of my lunch time by going back into the building) I scooped the wonton out and took a not-to-delicate bite out of it.  Damn! In one fell swoop I burnt my tongue and the roof of my mouth AND slobbered liquid on my lap.  NICE.

The next time I bought soup from the chinese place, I was smart and I took a fork and knife as well.  I figured I'd stab the wonton with the fork, cut it with the knife, and scoop it up with the spoon.  Good plan, except the knife, too, bent in half when I tried to cut, proving itself to be even more ineffectual than the spoon.  The fork was good for stabbing, but only with devoted assistance from the spoon.  My GOODNESS, WHO makes these utensils, and why does anyone buy them?  Does anyone remember those "Got Milk?"  commercials from years ago, the ones that featured the guy in clean white surroundings, with cookies on a table?  He thinks he's in heaven until he realizes there's no milk for his cookies - then he knows he's in hell.  I picture hell to be a banquet of wonderful food with these damn plastic utensils.

Today, I REALLY got smart.  I  brought my OWN spoon.

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